My Name is
by Animerulzs1267
Summary: Gou, or Kou, has upset Nagisa for the first time ever. He is so upset he won't even smile to her! What did she do to make him act so...mature and yet so unhappy? Kougisa, Rated T.


"No offense, Kou," Chigusa said, "but your name _is_ 'Gou'. I don't know why you persist Nagisa to call you Kou...?"

That was what Chigusa said every time they spoke about Nagisa.

Kou scoffed doubtfully, hands gesturing in the air, "Because it's so...so _boyish_!"

"So?" Chigusa queried carefully. "You're friends with boys. _Shirt_ less boys, who are in a swim team, and have girlish names! You have a problem with it but they don't. They don't go around telling people to call them something different." Chigusa waited patiently for Kou to blast her arguments.

"You don't understand!" she practically shouted, startling her friend for the first time. "I don't mind if it's Haruka, cause he secretly calls Rin 'Rinny'. Then there's Makoto but I can't say no to that big teddy bear…and then there's Nagisa! He doesn't get that I _hate_ my name! Is he stupid? I hate it when he calls me that, and I don't like it and I know he knows! Sometimes I just don't understand him. He's so weird... I honestly wish he could get it in his head. It's like almost hating the way he's so happy all the time, it's annoying!"

Chigusa was about to interrupt her with a raised hand but Kou cut her off.

"No, don't interrupt me, I'm speaking the truth! He's so strange it pisses me off, like he never thinks that someone is depressed and he's just there, acting cheery! It's like he's doing all this fake happiness on purpose-"

 _SLAM_!

Kou jumped suddenly, "What was that?" Looking around her surroundings, she had no idea what or who made that frightening noise.

Chigusa burst running to the door of the rooftop's access and left Kou alone. She waited nervously, twiddling her thumbs and Chigusa came back slowly.

"Um, Kou?" she said with worry in her voice. "I think you went too far on what you said..."

"Wait, what?" Then realization came suddenly and Kou had been struck with horror. "Oh god, was that…Nagisa? I-I didn't mean those things!" Kou covered her mouth with her hands and felt sick. _I had no idea he..._

"Crap, crap, _crap_!" was all Chigusa said under her breath as she raced to Kou's side. "Kou... I'm sorry, but I think..."

Kou's ears seemed to not catch the rest of Chigusa's words...

* * *

After the rooftop incident, Kou remained on the pool bench, pretending to look at the clipboard in hopes of avoiding Nagisa's stares. She couldn't sleep last night, feeling like crap when she woke up and tried convincing her brother to let her stay home. With Rin's 'help', she had to face Nagisa throughout the day. Their subjects were the same today, and fate seemed cruel when Kou remembered she had to stay for the afternoon's practice.

The world seemed to hate her, and Nagisa didn't make things any better while staring with disappointment in his eyes... He was angry, Kou could tell. What was she going to do to fix the situation?

Just then Makoto came by quietly and asked her politely to help him find some towels. If she wasn't so deep in thought, she would have jumped to her feet and help right away, but it took five times to get Kou's attention until she snapped out of it.

"I'm sorry, what?" Kou asked, dazed and confused at Makoto.

"I was asking if you could help find the towels."

"Uh, yeah!" She got up, put down the clipboard and walked the opposite direction.

"Hey are you okay, G...Kou?"

Kou almost tripped hearing Makoto hesitating to say her name, but her remaining courage lead her to the back of the locker rooms and searched for clean towels in the storage cabinet. As she looked inside the steel cabinet, Kou wondered why in the first place did she tell everyone to call her 'Kou'? _Because your real name is so boyish!_ Her mind argued drastically. _Yeah, another part thought, but was it worth it to be rude at Nagisa?_ _I shouldn't have said those nasty things. Most of those words...I didn't mean any of them._

 _Well, too late_ , her foe said sarcastically, _Nagisa's pissed and you're not much help…_

 _That's not true...!_

"...Kou?"

 _That's not true at all! I can talk to him, I know I can!_

"Kou, are you listening?"

"I know I ca-"

"KOU!"

Kou leapt in aghast from the booming shout of Nagisa's voice from behind. She turned around saw Nagisa, staring right through her, dripping wet from the pool and well, it was rather awkward. Kou had the chance to speak and opened her mouth but when she looked at him he seemed...out of place, almost as if he was not his usual happy-go-lucky self. This Nagisa was a completely different person...

Nagisa plainly extended his hand and asked, "Can I have a towel?"

Blinking in bewilderment, she quickly snatched a towel from behind and gave it apprehensively. He muttered a thanks and, with the dry towel on his head, he turned and walked wistfully away. Kou wanted to right away grab him into a hug, even if he was wet. Kou wanted to cry and apologize a thousand times. She had never felt the desire to say 'I'm sorry, Nagisa, please call me Gou again!' but this time it was so different.

But instead she allowed Nagisa to walk away, feeling the weight of unhappiness over her head and shoulders...

* * *

"Why can't you come with me?"

"You know I'm afraid of the dark!"

"Chigusa, you are not afraid of the dark…"

"Yes I am, I just...n-never told you before…."

Gou raised an unconvinced eyebrow to her suspicious friend. This afternoon was gym and they were going to the gym's storage for equipment, but Chigusa was trembling in fear while they stood in front of the door. What was she doing? Chigusa had never said in her lifetime that she was afraid of the dark, but here she is, crying out loud that she despised the darkness!

Gou heaved a sigh and took the door handle herself, "Okay, I swear, if you do anything…"

"I swear, it's _sooo_ creepy!"

Gou pulled the door and poke her head inside. Seriously, the sun was shining outside and the windows in here shone brightly, making the whole gym-large and dusty-bright. Gou turned to tell her not to act like a chicken, but Chigusa was gone. Growling, she thought this was a shortcut for her not to do any work.

No matter, Gou thought. Gou went inside the gym and thought if she put enough strength in her, she could easily carry the baseball bats and balls to the field. With that in mind, she began looking around for them. It must have been dusted ages ago, her nose tickled in irritation and the light that beamed softly in here was picking up the dust flying swiftly away with every movement Gou made.

Five minutes had passed and not a single baseball bat was found. Gou began wondering if she should leave or not but was determined to distract herself. But then, she heard the door open and, the speculator she was, thought it had been Chigusa. Was she pulling a prank or was she facing her fear?

Either way she shouted, "Finally, where have you been? I can't find a single damn..." Her voice trailed hesitantly at the sight of Nagisa, expressing the same look of bewilderment, coming in the storage.

Thankfully Gou quickly hid behind a stack of boxes out of fear of being seen. But out of nowhere, the door behind him shut itself completely and Gou heard the lock click loudly. Nagisa turned in confusion and attempted to budge the door open.

"We can't let you out," said Chigusa's voice, "until you two talk things over!"

Gou's eyes widen in surprise. Was Chigusa...trying to help them?

"What the heck are you doing?" Nagisa shouted in dismay. "Who is in here?"

Gou, expecting this to be her debut, stepped timidly away from the boxes and said, "Me..."

Nagisa spun awkwardly and saw Gou. At first he opened his mouth like he was going to say something but immediately shut his mouth. _Oh dear,_ she thought sadly, _this might take a while..._

* * *

Nagisa was sitting on a hard cardboard box, unspoken. Gou took her place on the floor, but she realized how dirty it was and sat on another box not too far away from him. He didn't look at her, merely observing the floor.

Gou said her words carefully, "N-Nagisa, about what happened-"

"Huh?"

"T-the... _things_ I said," she replied. "They were terrible. I shouldn't have been rude to you, especially behind your back."

"Maybe you shouldn't have done it in the first place," he said bitterly.

"Well I'm sorry, all right?"

"No, it's not all right! You have no idea how much that hurt, hearing you say those terrible things about me to your best friend and thinking it was fine. I would never talk behind your back, and you did what I thought you'd never do. I guess..."

Gou was scared to ask but did, "You guess, what?"

"I guess I messed up, calling you Gou and all. I just wanted to call you by your real name.."

"Why?"

"Because I like you!"

The two were now looking at each other, in shock, and Gou was the first to reply, "Really?"

Nagisa rubbed behind his head, "Yeah...but..."

"Nagisa, why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Because you never seem to catch on and I thought maybe if I could catch your attention by calling you by your real name instead of that other name and hope you'd like that instead?"

Gou blushed.

Nagisa blushed.

The two stared until Gou first burst in a fit of laughter, catching Nagisa off-guard. "I just...never knew this..."

It took a while, but Nagisa's serious face turned back to his cheerful one as he laughed along. Gou felt relief pool around her, she missed his smiling face and his sweet way of being honest... Maybe they could give this relationship a chance?

"So...now what?"

"I think we can go out now," Gou said, standing up and headed for the door. But when she tried opening it, it was still locked. "Chigusa, we've talked and we're ready!"

Out of nowhere they heard a loud bang behind the door, scuffles on the outside floor and someone unlocking the door. Chigusa must of fallen asleep...

"Sorry, I fell asleep!" Chigusa called out hastily, trying to unlock the door.

Gou looked over to Nagisa who was on her right side, then he suddenly took her free hand and held it shyly. _Let's give it a shot..._ she thought, returning the squeeze for him.


End file.
